+++ STOP PRESS +++ William D. Drake and Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Mr. Drake CDs now available to order.

Jesus....Spratleys Japs have gone and done a T-Shirt....it's got a bloody cat on it for Christ sake....if you want one, which you do, then click here...

All Hell brakk loose, by all accounts SPRATLEYS JAPS are TIM SMITH out of CARDIACS and a wayward gathering of unruly, highly suspicious New Forest types who took it upon themselves to spend the dank autumn and winter of our 1998 to robber around together in the rotten mud in the dirty woods, like pigs. They scrabbled out of the mud with a blank expression, bringing out all of the mud with them and then making a mess it must be told. Never mind, because in their mucky hand they held out their first album called PONY and a single called HAZEL. Possessing a hairy eye, and good nature, ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN MUSIC have found it in their lovin' heart to release these recordings due entirely to the excruciating brilliance therein, and in doing so, rendering their availability to you lot. CHRIST ALMIGHTY! What's more, have ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN MUSIC unearthed sketchy rumours of some sort of LIVE PERFORMANCES?? Not yet damn it. But for now, PONY and her HAZEL are truly available NOW! ...TO YOU!!... NOW!!!.......BONER!

A very vintage recording, a beautiful din, dredged out from under the sludge it was stored in at the bottom of a sour pond, washed, and soon to be made available to you lot on super C.D format. This rare and wonderful ensemble, if you're quizzing, were later on to become the universally revered SEA NYMPHS. The exquisite and the unparalleled. This ancient recording of old, MR and MRS SMITH AND MR. DRAKE, came into being many, many, many, many moons ago as a STRICTLY LIMITED EDITION compact cassette. Being eternally indebted to you lot, as well we know it, let it be understood that ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN MUSIC are busting arses and, if necessary, brakking heads, to bring this heavenly recording to you in the considerably more accessible super C.D format, hopefully in the not too far-off future. Then we will ALL be entered into heaven, away from the scum and all....CHRIST ALIVE!!!

You buggas can mark All My Eye And Betty Martin's dirty dollar with shiniest silvers, it won't alter the fact that William D. Drake's bin bandying himself around as a snake. On Saturdays he goes to the black sea and plays crows on stumps. On Mondays he goes to the mud so things in the water can nibble his chin black. Thank God, buggas all, that he managed to take some time out on Wormsday to fashion out of all World's Unearthly Magic a magnificent Album, coming out so bloody soon, on All My Eye And Betty Martin Music, that it strains it's seams. It come so soon we can smell him, that Drake.......robbing the light.......putting hares in all the milk......Get It.

20 Tunes For Free!

The Spratleys Japs song 'Sparrows' has been included on a FREE...thats right...FREE CD compilation album put out by them busy rascals at ORG records. The CD is entitled ORGAN RADIO 17 and can be obtained by simply asking them for it. The album contains 20 tunes by 20 different artists, so be sure to hold your dirty cap firmly in your tiny cold hands and maybe add a little tremble of anticipation as you contact them at www.organart.com or write to there offices at ORG RECORDS, UNIT 212, 326 KENSAL RD, LONDON, W10 5BZ, ENGLAND.

Spratleys Japs On Big Radio One

They've unpacked big radio one DJ John Peel outa the back of the BBC truck, made it a sangwige, put it in front of it's special RADIO record player and told it to start playing some records for the kidz...told it to include the JAPS these coming weeks....we'll see.

FURTHER ADO'S AND A-NEWS

ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN MUSIC do make it life's endeavour to sniff out and commission many, many more, many, many more delightful recordings for your greedy enjoyment and tireless curiosity. ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN MUSIC will drag them out like dirty, black pennies stuck down the end of wishing wells, pick them carefully out with finger and thumb to be lovingly shone up like sparkle, then presented to you in superb super C.D format. For when it comes to you lot, such is the very nature of ALL MY EYE AND BETTY MARTIN MUSIC.

All AME releases will be available worldwide in all good record shops via ORG Records/Plastichead Distribution

WATCH THIS SPACE WITH YOUR BEADY EYE!